


2 cups of coffee

by meteor-sword (vaenire)



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Coming Out, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, M/M, Mai and Zuko love each other they just didn't realize it was platonic, Pre-Relationship, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Tension, Whump, alcohol mention, followed by more hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26318545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vaenire/pseuds/meteor-sword
Summary: Sokka can measure his life in a couple ways. Days, weeks, months, years.Or:16 years since his mother died.10 years since Yue.5 years since he developed feelings for his best friend Zuko.1 week since Zuko's latest "breakup" with Mai.2 cups of coffee since he was at peace with all of that.
Relationships: Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Near-Past Mai/Zuko, On the Cusp of Sokka/Zuko, Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Sokka
Comments: 37
Kudos: 214





	2 cups of coffee

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this (late) for
> 
> zukkanet event 01: song lyrics. using the lyric 
> 
> I just made two cups of coffee  
> But you're not here to drink it now  
> Forgot you left before the morning  
> Guess I'll never know who you were thinking 'bout  
> Is there a reason you won't call me back?  
> 'Cause I wish that you were back in bed with me  
> The fact you used me kinda makes me sad  
> It's no question that you're probably done with me
> 
> from coffee by quinn xcii

Sokka sets two cups on the crowded little dining table in his kitchenette and fills them from the pitcher of coffee he’d made. Zuko was a coffee snob, but it would help if he had a hangover like Sokka suspects he does. 

It’s ten already, and it’s not like Zuko to sleep in, so Sokka figures it would be alright for him to go knock on the guest room’s door before pushing it open gently. 

The bed was made. Zuko was gone. Ah. 

He closed the door again and returned to his kitchen, sitting at one of the chairs he’d cleared for himself and Zuko, leaning his cheek on his palm, elbow on the table. He considered throwing one of the cups of coffee down the sink-- but why waste good coffee? He took a long swig from his mug and corrected himself: why waste alright coffee? 

\-------

Every other Friday, Sokka hosted Toph for their biweekly paint-and-sip. They usually mixed up exactly how they did it-- some weeks, Toph would fashion a figure from some quick dry clay and Sokka would paint it; some weeks they would follow a Bob Ross episode with finger paint; some weeks Sokka put plastic down on all his furniture and walls like a forward thinking serial killer and they would make splatter paint. This week, they decided to try drawing their favorite scenes from a movie ( _ Zootopia _ , with its wonderfully funny nature documentary vibes) with audio description on, and it was going  _ fantastically _ until a knock came on his apartment door. 

Sokka frowned at his bright orange and scribbled rendition of a fox and waited for another knock before sighing and grabbing the remote. 

“Did I forget we ordered something?” he asked Toph over his shoulder as he went up the short hallway from the living room to pull the door open. 

Zuko stood in the doorway. Sokka looked at him, shocked and trying to wrack his brain if there was something he was forgetting. He didn’t invite Zuko over, did he? 

Then he took in the miserable vision that was Zuko: he was wearing a hoodie and sweats, his usual neat bun deflated with how many strands had pulled loose from it, and his eyes were red. 

“You wanna come in, buddy?” Sokka didn’t have to ask twice before Zuko was in the door and leaned his forehead on Sokka’s shoulder. Sokka also didn’t have to ask what was up-- it was almost certainly something to do with Mai, as it had been the last dozen times Zuko turned up on his doorstep like this. Sokka just wrapped Zuko in a quick, tight hug and gave a squeeze. 

“Who is it?” Toph called from the living room when Sokka closed the door behind Zuko, and it was clear that Zuko forgot about Sokka and Toph’s Friday Thing, as Zuko looked up surprised at Toph’s voice. 

“Zuko,” Sokka called back. He lowered his voice and told Zuko, “We’re just watching a movie and painting. Come on.” 

He led Zuko to the living room, where Toph had retrieved her white cane and stood to meet them, swiping the cane over the floor as she crossed the carpet in front of the TV, catching Zuko’s ankles in her (slightly annoying) way of greeting. “Woops,” she said unapologetically, “What’s up, Sparky?” 

“Hey Toph,” he said, and his voice was scratchy in a way that belied an earlier crying session. Toph heard it too, and raised her brows before knitting them together. 

“What happened?” she asked, reaching out and finding Zuko’s arm and curling a hand around it, tugging him along with her to the couch. 

“Nothing,” Zuko mumbled, sitting in the middle seat of the lumpy old couch. But Zuko sniffed, giving himself away, and Toph punched his arm--  _ lightly _ for a change. 

“Don’t lie to me,” she said severely. 

Zuko shot her a watery smile and sniffed again. “Mai…” he started. He didn’t need to say any more for Sokka to fill in the rest. “We broke up,” Zuko said, and the misery in his voice made Sokka’s heart ache familiarly. 

“Again?” Toph asked, and Sokka wanted to clap his hand over her mouth. Zuko knew what the rest of them thought about his on-and-off relationship with Mai-- they’d had the chance to tell him again and again over the years-- and he clearly didn’t need to be reminded at the moment. 

The quivering in Zuko’s lower lip grew, his frown deepening. “I know,” he said, and his voice broke. 

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” Sokka said, sitting on Zuko’s other side and shooting Toph a glare despite knowing she couldn’t see it. “What happened?” 

Zuko shrugged miserably. “I don’t know.” 

Sokka frowned at that. “You didn’t get into an argument?” That was the usual case. 

Zuko shook his head. “She just--” he hiccuped, “she just left. She texted me that she ‘needed space’ and hasn’t been back.” 

“Hey,” Toph said, snapping her fingers in Sokka’s direction, “Why don’t you make yourself useful and grab another wine glass?” 

Sokka was going to protest, except he realized fetching a glass would give him a pass to miss out on the early stages of Zuko Relationship Advice Session, Take Eight. He thought they were up to eight, but he couldn’t be sure-- he tried counting them in his head as he made his way to the kitchen. When he returned, snatching the wine bottle from the table beside his and Toph’s easels, he tried to gather what he’d missed from the conversation. 

“Zuko,” Toph said, her voice soft and alien to Sokka’s ears, “You know you can’t make everyone love you the way you want.” Sokka tilted his head and raised his brows in agreement as he pulled the cork out of the bottle, for his own benefit if no one else’s. Sokka was pretty sure he’d said the same thing a few breakups ago. Mai and Zuko loved each other-- anyone could see that. Sokka was just suspicious that that love might not translate into the romantic side. 

“But I’m not trying to make  _ everyone _ love me,” he said, head in his hands. “I’m trying to make  _ one _ person…” he trailed off with another crack in his voice. Sokka poured half a glass of wine and handed it to him.

“She didn’t say what she needed space for?” Sokka asked over his shoulder as he retrieved his own glass. 

“No,” Zuko said, voice thick, before throwing the glass back. Sokka watched dumbfounded as Zuko emptied the glass, vaguely wishing he’d grabbed his cheaper bottle. Hell, he thought, if Zuko wanted to drink like that he should’ve brought his own stuff. Sokka pointedly did not refill his glass. 

He and Toph were at a loss for what to say to Zuko now-- there wasn’t a line of questioning or consoling that they hadn’t trudged down before. At some point, Sokka was sure, someone would bring up the idea that  _ maybe Zuko and Mai should take a break _ and Zuko would nod along, say  _ maybe you’re right _ . And they’d be back together within a week, and they’d all roll their eyes and count down until the next time. 

Zuko raised his eyes to the TV now. “What are you watching?” he asked, even as his voice was hoarse and scratchy. 

“Uh…” Sokka said, looking at the screen where it was paused on an easily identifiable frame. Zuko never was one for keeping up with popular recent movies. “ _ Zootopia _ ?” He waved toward the easels on the table; “We’re not really  _ watching _ it though, per se.” 

He watched Zuko’s eyes as they drifted from the screen to the easels and the glasses where he and Toph had left them on the table. 

“Care to join us, Sparky?” 

Sokka retrieved an extra easel and canvas from his art closet, ruffling around for some paintbrushes (and grabbing the cheaper bottle of wine from the kitchen) before helping Zuko set it up. The trio settled back at the table, and Sokka was relieved that for the rest of the movie, Zuko concentrated wholly on painting, seeming relieved to have a distraction.

\--

Sokka finished his glass of wine halfway through the movie, retrieving some juice for himself. The movie ended a little past nine, and Sokka dreaded when Zuko’s mind would turn back to his ordeal with Mai. He seemed willing to be distracted by whatever conversation topics Toph and Sokka thought of for now, so Sokka happily talked about the books he’d been reading, or what petty things came up in his lab work the past two weeks. 

At some point, when Toph felt that her painting was finished, she declared that Zuko was to be the judge between their painted interpretations of the movie. Sokka groaned when he saw what Toph had made-- for all she claimed to not care about improving her art, she had been getting better and better. Her white rabbit in police uniform, with a smattering of blacks and blues and a pink nose offcentered in the face-- the asymmetry of which lent only to give her a depth of profile-- was much better than Sokka’s attempt at an orange fox with a green shirt. His painting was little more than orange triangles and green squares. Toph had taken her stylus to the top of the canvas and punched in braille letters, then followed it with dots of red on her fingertip. After studying them a moment, Sokka translated it: ACAB. He couldn’t hold back a laugh.

“Alright, you’ve got to give it to her,” Sokka sighed. One look at Zuko’s smile and he knew Zuko was going to declare hers the winner with or without Sokka’s permission. 

Before long it was time to drive Toph home, and Sokka uneasily got to his feet, watching what Zuko did-- and was only somewhat surprised when Zuko stood too, grabbing his jacket to follow them to Sokka’s car. He sat in the back without complaint, behind Toph’s seat, quietly listening to Sokk and Toph’s dissection of the movie on the drive across town. 

When Sokka pulled into Toph’s driveway, he set it in park and glanced into the backseat, finding Zuko leaning against the door and looking out the window. “You have everything, Toph? You didn’t put anything in the trunk did you?” he asked, though he knew no one had touched the trunk. 

“I have everything, Mom,” Toph said sarcastically as she popped open her door, unfolding her cane. 

Sokka mentally checked off everything she’d brought: her bag, her cane, her paint supplies, the copy of  _ Zootopia _ , her painting. Yeah, everything was in Toph’s arms or slung over her shoulder. Zuko pushed his door open and stood at the same time as Toph, and they exchanged words before Toph turned for her front door and Zuko took her place in the passenger seat. 

Maybe it was Sokka’s anxiety, but he kept his eyes on Toph as she made her way to the front door. He never left before she got inside, even  _ if  _ she lived in an extremely nice neighborhood, and all the academy students were just on the other side of the door. 

“How are you feeling?” he asked Zuko softly even as he leaned forward over his driver wheel to watch Toph’s ascent up the front steps. 

Zuko’s returning sigh was equally soft, as if they worried about being overheard. “Better.” 

Sokka chanced a glance at Zuko-- he had already reestablished his position leaning against his door and looking out the window. He didn’t look great (hair still a mess, hoodie still belying a depressed fatigue), but he returned Sokka’s look with a sideways smile. 

The front porch light turned off and suddenly they were cast only in the light blue light drifting out of the front room of the house, where the students were undoubtedly watching a movie. Sokka could almost hear their excitedly hushed voices from where they sat. 

It was always harder to reign in his thoughts in the dark, and he found his gaze lingering on Zuko even after he’d returned to looking out the window. Only when Zuko shot him a questioning glance did he realize that he should probably be putting the car in reverse and taking them home. 

“Do you want tater tots?” he asked slyly as he pulled back onto the residential street. 

“Yeah.” 

Sokka was not a jealous person. Things often didn't work out for him, and that was all but a hallmark of his twenty five years so far. His mother died when he was young, his father left for the army not too long after, his first girlfriend had been terminally ill, and his bisexual awakening was, severely unfortunately, his best friend. 

It hadn’t been a crush at first-- he was still dating Suki and he respected her too much for that. Plus, Zuko had already been dating Mai for years. No, it was just one day he looked at his friend and realized how attractive he was, and unfortunately not in the ‘any girl would be lucky to kiss him’ way. 

He had guiltily confided his realization to Suki and was incredibly relieved when she admitted she felt the same way, attracted to girls and boys. It had strengthened their relationship if anything-- but Sokka had to wonder if it had something to do with Suki asking for them to take a break when Sokka moved away for undergraduate a year later. Now seven years later and Sokka having returned to their home city for graduate school, they were still on their ‘break,’ even if their friendship was still going strong. 

The crush feelings had developed when they were in school. Zuko, by some stroke of luck (good or bad) had ended up going to the same school as Sokka, and they shared a flat with Haru and Teo after their obligatory year in the dorms. Even when Zuko skyped Mai every night, even when their relationship was probably the healthiest it ever had been given the distance, Sokka felt himself falling deeper and deeper into this stupid crush. 

It wasn’t Sokka’s fault that his eyes kept wandering to his friend-- it was the fault of the look in Zuko’s eyes when Teo tutored him in STEM classes that said ‘it’s not coming easy, but I’ll get it.’ It was the way his hair fell in his face all messy after he fell asleep on the couch during movie night, cheek against Sokka’s shoulder. It was the way he started humming when Sokka poured him his first coffee of the day, and the way he worked hard to earn Haru’s trust by doing extra chores. The way the fluorescent street light silhouetted him during their late night dishwashing sessions, not too different from the way the urban glow silhouetted his profile in the passenger seat as Sokka pulled into the drive thru. 

Sokka didn’t have to ask for his order: a large order of tater tots, a cola for himself and a sickly green soda for Zuko. The order hadn’t changed since their sophomore year of college. 

Sokka wordlessly parked in the corner of the parking lot, away from the busy road so they could have some peace and quiet as they scarfed down the over salted tots. 

“So you feel better?” Sokka ventured, taking a loud slurp of his soda to lighten the mood. 

Zuko hummed, popping another tot into his mouth. “I don’t know. I keep going back and forth.” 

“Elaborate.” 

Zuko washed the food down with soda, rubbed a hand over his face. Then he shrugged. “I just feel confused.” 

Sokka didn’t have to push: he could all but hear the words percolating in that head of Zuko’s as he set his cup back in the cupholder. 

“I feel like I might be losing my best friend,” he admitted at last. “But it’s been a long time coming.” He brought his hand up to his face, digging his thumbnail into his lower lip. “I’m scared of not having Mai around anymore.” 

Zuko was looking at the dashboard, eyes flickering to his other hand still sitting in his lap, and Sokka took in his silhouette. It took Zuko a long time to sit facing forward in the passenger seat, nervous to have anyone in his blindspot on his left side, and he allowed himself a moment of warm fuzzy feelings that Zuko trusted Sokka like this. 

But at the same time, Sokka felt Zuko’s fear resonate in him, too. He had scraped through the end of his relationship with Suki while maintaining their close bond, but-- he’d thought about Zuko a lot. It was embarrassing to even consider while he was still dating Mai, he knew, but he couldn’t help himself. Every scenario though, he couldn't help but think it would be a gamble with his friendship with Zuko on the line.

_ Focus, Sokka,  _ he told himself.  __

“You think that, if you’re not  _ dating _ , Mai’s going to disappear?” he asked with a frown, astounded by the thought. 

Zuko frowned back. “Why wouldn’t she?” 

Sokka gaped at him, not sure how to form his rebuttal. 

“We’re not  _ like _ you and Suki,” Zuko snapped with a pointed look out his passenger window. 

“Well--  _ no _ ,” Sokka agreed, briefly thinking just  _ how different _ Mai and Suki were. “But you two… I don’t know,” he admitted, because he didn’t know-- he couldn’t wrap his head around just how compatible Mai and Zuko were, or fully understand their shared history. By the time Sokka had befriended-- a few months after Zuko-- they had been inseparable for years. “I just don’t think she’d do that.” 

“Well, I didn’t think she’d leave like she did,” Zuko rebuked. 

Sokka opened his mouth to retort, but thought better. He took a sip of soda instead. 

“So when did she leave?” 

Zuko sighed. “She didn’t come back after work Monday.” 

Sokka’s brows shot up. Today was Friday, which made it day 5 of this ‘break.’ This might be the longest break they’d ever taken. 

Sokka was still absorbing that when Zuko continued. “Don’t tell anyone else,” he said, sounding ‘better’ again. “But I might be okay if this is it. I mean, I don’t want to lose her-- that’s. That’s why I.” His thoughts too disorganized, he threw his hands up. “I must be so annoying with this stuff.” 

He froze for a second, guilt in his veins because he most certainly had been acting annoyed earlier this evening. Frankly, Zuko was right. 

Sokka didn’t say anything. 

“I don’t think I’m in love with her anymore,” Zuko said finally. “I love her, though. Does that make any sense?” 

“It makes perfect sense,” Sokka assured him softly. 

Zuko looked at his hands, folded in his lap. “But I’m not  _ sure _ . I don’t want to do something rash and then realize I  _ do _ \--” 

“You’re overthinking,” Sokka cut him off. “And that’s really something, coming from me.” 

Zuko flashed him a smile-- and Sokka only knew it was there on his shadowed face because he knew Zuko so well, knew the way he nodded his head back when he was smiling or frowning or angry. 

“Well what do you think, then?” 

Sokka opened his mouth before thinking better of it again. He had shared what he thought about Zuko’s relationship dozens of times now. 

“Maybe it’s time to really take a break.” 

Zuko laughed ruefully. “And what, move in with my Uncle?” 

“You think Mai would want you to move out?” 

Zuko just shrugged. 

“I don’t really have experiences with ‘real’ breakups.” He shrugged again, rolling back into his position against the door. “I might kind of have feelings for someone else, but I feel… messed up about it.” 

Sokka shunned the weird mix of hope and disappointment that those few simple words planted in his stomach. Suddenly conscientious, he tore his eyes off of Zuko and looked out his own window. 

“If you don’t wanna be in a romantic relationship with Mai anymore, why don’t you just talk it out with her?” 

“Talk?” Zuko exclaimed. “Me and Mai’s whole thing is not talking about stuff.” 

_ Wonder why it’s not working out _ , Sokka almost said. 

Zuko continued under his breath, “Besides, I don’t know if I  _ don’t _ want to be with her.” 

“You just said you had feelings for someone else--” 

“But I’m with Mai!” Zuko exclaimed louder, sitting up and looking at Sokka. “I shouldn’t--” 

“Zuko!” Sokka said, matching Zuko’s volume. “Stop fucking around and just tell me what you want!” 

They found themselves staring at each other wide eyed, and Sokka had a brief moment of regret, taken by the urge to apologize, before Zuko slumped back. He crossed his arms. 

“I want to go back to the apartment,” he said ruefully. 

\-- 

Sokka drove back in relative silence, wondering what was going through Zuko’s head as he watched the sidewalk fly past. 

He wondered how Zuko could be so self-aware one second, apologizing for being annoying (and remembering that made Sokka feel worse) one second, and being so bull headed to admit what he’d admitted yet refuse to break it off with Mai the next second. 

Zuko followed on Sokka's heels as he let them back into the apartment and sat with a quiet huff on the couch. Sokka bustled around the table where his art supplies were still drying, finding excuses to not join Zuko just yet. 

What were the chances, really, that Zuko had recently developed feelings for Sokka? Slim to none, he reasoned: if it would’ve happened, it would’ve happened when they lived together, not almost three years later after he moved in with Mai in their home city. 

No, most likely it was someone he worked with or met at the martial arts club. There had been a drunk late night conversation years ago, after Sokka caught Zuko looking at Haru when they still lived together, when Zuko had confessed having eyes for a couple guys as well as girls. Sokka never let himself think too hard about it as Zuko pretended to forget the entire conversation the next day. Sokka was already too far gone on his stupid crush by then, and he remembered how disappointed he was when Zuko asked “What would I do with this?” when he tried to give Zuko one of his pride bracelets. 

Sokka wondered if he knew which one of the partners or secretaries at the law firm Zuko fancied. 

Sokka stood at the table a moment longer than necessary, even after all the brushes were packed up and he’d double checked that his canvas was still drying. He straightened the place mats that Katara had insisted on gifting him for his first solo apartment. 

He took the cup he was using for paint water to the kitchen sink, slowly scrubbing off the flecks of dried paint. He took his time, meticulously and thoroughly cleaning it. Finally there was nothing more to distract him from sitting on the couch beside Zuko. 

“I think I’m fine to break up with her,” he said, unprompted. “I mean, in the end I’m either gonna break up with her or marry her, right?” he was parroting lines Sokka himself had used to reason with him months ago. Sokka nodded, dumbfounded. The conversation was already getting away from him, starting from an entirely unexpected place. 

“So you’ll talk to her?” 

Zuko frowned again. “I have to, don’t I?” 

Sokka tilted his head in agreement. 

Then there was not much more to be said: silence wrapped around them in the dim living room, and Sokka wished he had turned on more lamps before sitting. He knew how he got in the dark. 

Zuko pulled the hair tie out of his hair and let his bun fall over his shoulders before leaning his head against the back of the couch. 

“It’s overwhelming,” he murmured, and Sokka barely heard him over the rush of thoughts in his head.  _ Yeah, overwhelming _ . “But I can do it.”  _ I couldn’t _ . 

Zuko rolled his head to the side to look at Sokka, and Sokka was grateful his flush wouldn’t be visible in the dark, at least. 

“Do you wanna stay here tonight?” Sokka asked, and kicked himself. It would’ve been too easy to say that Zuko should go home and be there if Mai ended up coming back, so they could talk. 

“Yeah,” Zuko said. 

\--

Sokka had an old pair of sweats that were way too big for him that he kept just for impromptu sleepovers-- the string was still strong enough that anyone, even Toph, could secure the pants around their waist. He grabbed these for Zuko, as well as new sheets, while Zuko went to get his phone charger from his car. 

Zuko came in as Sokka was inflating the air mattress in his tiny ‘office,’ wordlessly thanked him for the pajamas folded on the corner of Sokka’s desk, and exited to the hallway to change elsewhere. Sokka was struggling with the fitted sheet when Zuko returned, grabbing another corner to help out. When it was secured in place on the bed, Soka glanced at Zuko-- the ugly bright light in this room compensated somewhat for how attractive Zuko was with his hair in a loose ponytail, oversized shirt and sweats hanging off him. 

Zuko wiggles the pillow cover over the overly fluffy pillow, throwing it into its place on the bed while Sokka throws the topsheet over top. It was a familiarity in their movements that made it so easy, Sokka handing a corner of the quilt to Zuko so they could spread it out together. 

Zuko sat on the edge of the air mattress, testing its fullness. 

“Is it acceptable, my liege?” Sokka asked sarcastically, sitting beside him. Zuko smiled in the way of an answer. 

“Do you really think Mai won’t like, cut ties with me if we break up?” 

Sokka frowned, though he shouldn’t be surprised by how quickly Zuko would return to the subject. “I can’t promise anything,” he said honestly, “But would  _ you _ want to break ties if she broke up with  _ you _ ?” 

Zuko threw himself back on the bed, arms stretched above his head and feet still flat on the floor. “The whole reason why I  _ haven’t _ is because I don’t want to lose her.” 

Sokka sighed deeply, following Zuko back. His wolf tail hit the bed first, pulling at his hair uncomfortably. He pulled it out and slid the tie over his wrist. When he looked at Zuko, Zuko was looking at him. 

“Isn’t it worth it to try something else that might make you happier?” Sokka suggested. If Mai was going to stop being friends with Zuko because they didn’t work as a couple, that was her loss of a great friendship-- but Sokka could appreciate how great a loss it would be for Zuko, too. “Maybe try pursuing that new flame you were talking about?” 

Zuko looked at him with considerate eyes, chewing on Sokka’s suggestion. “Yeah,” he said softly. He rolled onto his side facing Sokka, curling his legs up onto the bed between them. He leaned up on his elbow, still considering Sokka’s words. “I think you’re right.” 

He ducked his head forward, his weight shifting forward as well, slow-like as if he was off balance. Sokka raised an eyebrow-- the wine must still be in his system, if he couldn’t keep his balance laying down like this. Zuko swayed forward into Sokka’s personal space. 

“Zuko?” he said when he was an inch away from reaching up instinctually to catch Zuko before he fell into him. 

Zuko snapped back as if out of a trance, eyes going wide. “Oh,” he said. He fell back to the mattress and uncurled, starfishing his limbs. “I’m sorry. I thought...” 

Sokka pushed up onto his elbows now to peer at Zuko, brow still raised. Zuko glanced at him and then pointedly toward the ceiling. Sokka’s mind raced, his own thoughts becoming white noise. What just happened? 

“Well,” Sokka said when his speechlessness and Zuko’s conscientious stillness got to be too much. “I’ll let you get to sleep.” 

Sokka was kicking himself the entire way from the bed to the door. He turned back when he stepped into the hallway, offering to turn off the light, and caught a glimpse of Zuko’s bright red face, miserable once again. 

_ What the hell, what the hell, what the hell _ became the mantra he fell asleep to. 

\-------

Sokka swallowed down the last dreg of bitter coffee and thumped the mug back on the table, leaning back in his seat. He checked his phone and found no messages. 

It was almost ten, and Sokka needed to be on the road by 10:30 to make it to his Dads’ place in time for brunch with them and Katara. 

He sighed and hit Suki’s contact. 

_ “Hello?” _ she answered a moment later, voice clearly tired. 

“Hey, Suki,” he said. 

He heard rustling on the other end of the line, and when she spoke again her voice was much closer. “Is something wrong?” 

“Ah,” he said, “I don’t need to get into if you’re busy.” He leaned back on two legs of his chair. 

“Sokka,” she said, and he had to smile at the familiar exasperation. “I’m on the bus to the dojo. I have nothing better to do than be entertained by whatever you’ve gotten into this time.” 

He barked a laugh, and then the mirth fell out of his voice. “Well, this’ll probably be pretty entertaining for anyone other than me.”  _ And Zuko,  _ he didn’t add. 

“Lay it on me.” 

“OKAY, so you know how I thought Zuko was kind of cute back in high school?” he started, deciding he needed to recap it all from the top. 

“Wait can I ask a question?” Suki interjected. “Are you telling me you didn’t come back from school with a major crush on him?” 

“W-well--” he said, startling when one of the leg chairs precariously supporting him wobbled dangerously, throwing his weight forward so as not to fall backwards. “I mean--” 

“Because I thought that was pretty clear? Unless I was totally off base.” 

It occurred to him that this was a rather embarrassing conversation to have with  _ Suki _ , but he brushed that aside. 

“Well, yeah okay. So we can skip the intro to my problem. He came over last night and he said Mai broke up with him like a week ago and that he thinks it’s for good and then he told me he had feelings for somebody new and I think he might have tried to kiss me.” He said it in one breath, rushing to get it out. 

There was a beat of silence. “Tried?” 

“I kind of rejected him. Maybe? I don’t know exactly what happened.” 

“Sokka,” she said, and he knew she was shaking her head. 

“Okay but that was right before he went to sleep-- he was staying the night-- and then this morning he was gone before I got up.” He breathed a deep sigh. “So what do you think that means?” 

She hummed. “I mean, you don’t sound totally sure he  _ was _ trying to kiss you.” 

Sokka thought about that-- he stroked his chin (and made a mental note to shave before he went to brunch, or else he’d get an earful from Bato). He thought back to the night before, when Zuko had leaned in toward him. He’d thought he was tipsy-- but he pulled back with perfect control when Sokka said his name. He seemed embarrassed. He had gotten awfully close to Sokka, afterall. Sokka had to kick himself-- had he really cock blocked himself? No, no, Sokka didn’t want to kiss Zuko before he was even officially broken up with Mai. She was his friend, too, and he couldn’t do that to her. 

“I am at least seventy percent sure he was trying to kiss me.” 

“Sokka, how do you always get yourself into the worst situations?” 

He bristled at that. “It’s not that bad! Zuko is going to talk to Mai about.. I don’t know, seeing other people maybe? Maybe it’s fine! Maybe he was drunk and he won’t remember it at all.” 

There was another prolonged silence. “Oh, you didn’t hear then?” 

Sokka’s mind, racing for more even reasonable explanations as to how it Wasn’t That Bad, stopped in its tracks.

“Heard what?” 

She clicked her tongue and sighed. “Ty Lee told me Mai and Zuko went out for breakfast today.” 

“Oh,” he said. “Well, Zuko said--” 

“Ty said they seemed pretty happy when they left. It was the cafe across from her dance studio.” She said it apologetically. 

“Okay,” he said. He could feel that little hope that he hadn’t let himself harbor cracking in his chest. “Well, I should let you go.” 

“Sokka,” he said, and he hated to hear the sympathy in her voice. “Let me know if you wanna talk again later.” 

He nodded, then kicked himself. “Thanks. Bye.” 

He threw his phone onto the table and crossed his arms, elbows between the cups of coffee. He rested his forehead on his arms. 

There  _ was _ always the chance that they had broken up. That Zuko, for once, stuck to his word that he was going to end things with Mai. 

Sokka rubbed his forehead into his arms, knowing that was almost certainly not the case. 

What was he thinking? It wasn’t like Zuko was going to come back to the apartment and sweep Sokka off to a romantic date, or something. And how dishonest would it be for Sokka to advise Zuko for years that he needed time to be by himself, to be single, and then turn around and try to get with him the second he was back on the market? 

Feeling a bit sick, he dragged himself to the bathroom to shave and put on cologne, smacking water onto his face. He took a look at himself and forced a grin. Right, so there was no way Katara wouldn’t ask what was up with him. 

\-------

Three hours later, with a tupperware of leftover spaghetti and a saran wrapped half-loaf of banana bread forced into his hands (because Bato somehow thought he and Katara still fell for his ‘accidental too-big-batches’ after years of having packages of food forced on them after brunch), Sokka and Katara walked to their cars. 

“You doing okay?” she asked him. He’d been waiting for it since the first moment she laid eyes on him that morning.

“Yep!” he said. “How’s Aang and Bumi?” 

He could feel in the pause before she answered that she knew the game he was playing. “Good. Bumi’s getting really talkative-- but I’m sure you’ve seen, with all the videos Aang probably sends you.” 

Sokka laughed a bit too heartily. “Yeah! What a little tyke.” 

“Yknow,” she said, cautious. “Suki texted me.” 

He kept the groan inside. “Oh yeah?” he said, feigning ignorant curiosity. They were halfway up the gravel driveway to their cars and Sokka’s escape. 

“For what it’s worth, I think you did the right thing stopping him. And giving him the advice you give him. He’ll figure out how to end things with Mai on his own time, and he should know we’re all here to support him when he does-- and same for her, too.” 

Sokka, eyes trained on the gravel, just nodded. 

“You wanna talk about it?” 

They stopped between their cars and Sokka didn’t say a thing. 

“You wanna watch some shitty television and bake some cookies?” she pressed. “Aang and Bumi are in a Daddy and Me class until dinner time.” 

Sokka nodded

\-------

It was when Sokka stuck in the second batch of cookies, throwing the oven mitts onto the counter beside the sink, that he sighed. Katara was putting the milk back in the fridge, having filled two glasses, and she glanced over her shoulder at him. She recognized his ‘I’m ready to talk’ sigh better than anyone. 

She handed him his glass of milk and leaned against the counter. 

“I think I’m upset,” he started, cutting off before he said  _ at Zuko _ . 

“I know it’s frustrating that they keep doing this,” she said sympathetically. That was also something he was upset about, but more distantly. There was something else. 

“Yeah,” he said, knowing his tone betrayed his other thoughts. 

“What else?” Katara asked. After a beat, she said, “You did the right thing to turn him down, even if you didn’t want to.” 

Sokka wasn’t sure how complete of a picture Suki had painted for Katara, but he wasn’t concerned with elucidating it. He nodded. 

But now, he wasn’t sure how clear of a picture he  _ remembered _ . Zuko had said something after, before Sokka fled. He said  _ “I thought _ …” 

_ What had he thought? He thought Sokka was going in for it? He thought Sokka would let him? He thought Sokka… liked him?  _ If that’s what he’d thought, then he was right. But how would he have known that? 

“Katara, am I really obvious about liking Zuko?” He looked at her now, and she frowned. 

“I don’t know… I mean I suspected it before you said so because, I mean, I’m your  _ sister _ ,” she said. “Bato caught on before too long, but Dad didn’t. Suki’s  _ good _ like that.” 

He went through a checklist of their friends, trying to mentally determine who was perceptive enough to see through him. He ticked them off one by one until-- 

“Ty Lee.” She was always the first one to sniff out a crush or potential pairing, ever since high school. “You think she would? Do you think she’d say something?” Of course she would say something-- Mai was her best friend. Which means Mai  _ must _ know that Sokka was pathetically waiting for the second she dropped Zuko. “Would she tell Zuko?” 

Katara frowned at him deeply. “Why?” 

“I don’t know why she would, why does anyone gossip?” 

“No I mean, why do you think Zuko knows you…” she trailed off with a one shoulder shrug. 

“I don’t--” he didn’t want to summarize for her. “I think he knows. Right? I think--” he cut himself off again abruptly. If he knew  _ now _ , he could’ve known  _ then _ , years ago when it was a new little flame of his, before he realized it was going to become a full blown  _ thing _ for him. He could’ve known for years, for at least as long as he’d been coming to Sokka to complain about Mai. 

“Did Zuko ever ask  _ you _ for advice about Mai?” 

Katara rolled her eyes. “He’s asked everyone.” 

“Yeah, but how long’s it been since he went to you?” 

She pursed her lips and thought. “Tch, two years ago? Before Bumi. I told him he needed to take a break or something and evaluate the relationship and he didn’t want to hear that so he stopped coming around.” She shrugged, brows raising at him in a way he knew meant  _ unlike whatever you tell him _ . 

Sokka frowned, brows pushing downward impossibly far. “That is what I tell him every single time.” He crossed his arms and leaned back against the counter, before suddenly throwing his hands up in exasperation. “He never listens! He just comes around to get… comfort, I guess, and hang out but it’s never as good as when we’re just hanging out, you know? I’m always trying to make him feel better and--” Sokka could feel his temper rising, and swallowed his thoughts back down. 

Sokka was-- he felt that, if Zuko knew he liked him-- was he always coming to Sokka for advice because he knew Sokka wouldn’t turn him away, because he  _ knew _ Sokka’s feelings about him? Even if it wasn’t on purpose, Sokka felt the frustration he had dammed back and away come flooding to the forefront: there were no locks to keep the torrent from pouring forth. 

He was frustrated: that Zuko ignored his advice, used his hospitality, tried to kiss him, got back together with Mai. He was upset: that Zuko may have known about his feelings the entire time, that he may have used those to keep Sokka lined up as  _ his _ emotional support. 

He didn’t know how to verbalize any of this, didn’t know how to connect the dots for Katara, and he rubbed his hands over his face hard in irritation, hands settling over his eyes. 

Katara wrapped her arms around him. “It’s alright,” she said. 

The oven timer went off and made them both jump, and before Sokka could process that the twelve minutes had already gone by, Katara was already grabbing the oven mitts and pulling the oven door open. 

She set them aside to cool and pushed the first batch of cookies to one side of the wax paper. Then she turned to Sokka and put a hand on his shoulder. 

As she opened her mouth to say something, though, a knock came from the front door. They both frowned and looked toward the source of the sound. 

“Are you expecting someone?” 

Sokka shook his head. 

“Well, why don’t you take these cookies off the sheet and I’ll check the door?” 

Sokka acquiesced, hoping against the suspicion that they both had a good idea who it might be. 

He grabbed the spatula and started scraping the cookies off, trying to remember how he observed Kataara doing it before, when he heard the  _ click  _ of the door when she opened it. 

“It’s not a good time,” he heard Katara say tersely. 

“What?” the knocker responded, and Sokka sighed out his nose when he recognized Zuko’s voice. Katara was right. 

“I don’t think Sokka wants to see you right now,” she said in sharp explanation. Zuko tried to say something, but she cut him off before Sokka could decipher anything-- “Why are you here? Cut to the chase.” 

There was a beat, and Sokka held the spatula still, waiting. 

“Mai wanted me to invite him to brunch tomorrow. At our place.” 

_ Our place _ .  _ Mai. Brunch _ . 

“You too,” Zuko continued. “I was going to stop by you and Aang’s apartment, too. All our friends are invited.” 

“And what’s this all about?” Katara demanded, though Sokka could tell her tone was softening. 

“I-- well, Mai just wants to see everyone. It’s a special occasion.” 

“What’s the occasion?” 

“Well, it’s not really for  _ me  _ to say,” Zuko said, and Sokka rolled his eyes. “It’s just important to Mai that everyone’s there. Who can make it! We know it’s short notice!”

Sokka wondered what expression Katara was making at Zuko to make him so flustered. Probably the hand on the hip routine. 

“I’ll let Sokka know.” 

Zuko started to say something when the door  _ clicked _ shut again. 

Sokka didn’t say anything when Katara returned to the kitchen. She frowned at him, but surveyed his work silently. 

“Looks good,” she said, watching him toss the last cookie onto the paper. Then she looked him in the face, looking for his thoughts written there. 

“What do you think that was about?” he asked, voice cool as could be. 

She squinted at him and shrugged. “Wanna eat all these cookies and watch some House Hunters?” 

Sokka lit up at the suggestion, already grabbing a plate to dump the cookies onto and follow her into the living room and onto the couch, shoving two cookies in his mouth as he walked. Katara grabbed the big fuzzy blanket folded on the back of the couch and threw it over them, retrieving the remote from wherever he’d dropped it last time. 

Just as the episode she selected started, a  _ buzz _ came from somewhere beneath the blanket, followed by another. Sokka looked at Katara, who was halfway through a cookie. She shrugged. “Not mine.” 

Sokka must’ve left his phone somewhere on the couch when Katara dragged him to the kitchen to bake. He dove his hand under the blanket, feeling around until his hand closed on it. He resurfaced with it and glanced at the home page: immediately he turned the screen back off, groaning at the  _ number _ of texts there were. 

“Let me see,” Katara said-- and it wasn’t a question. He unlocked it with his thumb and put it in her waiting hand. 

“Hm,” she said. “There’s  _ eleven _ texts from Zuko and one from Suki.” She glanced at Sokka from her peripheral. “Should I tell you what they say, or…” 

“Can you summarize?” 

She hummed and started clicking and swiping through. “Suki is asking if you’re going tomorrow; Mai must have already invited her? She says she’s going.” She goes back to scrolling and sighs. “Zuko was giving you a head’s up that he was coming, and asking if you were home, and then said he was coming up to talk… and then just now he’s asking if you’re mad at him.” 

Sokka groaned and grabbed another cookie. 

“What should I say to Suki?” Katara asked, and Sokka almost laughed at their silent agreement that he was not going to answer Zuko just yet. Truthfully, Sokka didn’t even want to think about formulating an answer.  _ Zuko _ was the one who left before they could deconstruct what exactly had happened the night before.  _ Zuko _ was the one who tried to kiss him, after coming for advice and admitting he was annoying and making Sokka feel all… all those things.

Katara sighed. “Do you have read receipts on?” she asked. 

“Nah,” Sokka answered before it clicked why she would ask. She tossed the phone onto a pillow that had fallen from the couch to the floor. 

“Then we won’t worry about it yet.” 

Sokka grinned at her, throwing an arm over her shoulders to give her a side hug-- careful not to jostle the plate of cookies between them-- and settled back in to watch whatever trash TV they could find.

\-------

Sokka isn’t happy about this, but Katara convinced him that it was for  _ Mai _ , and if the brunch was being held for a reason that he didn’t like he could leave and be unhappy after the fact. 

He didn’t like visiting Mai and Zuko’s apartment: not that he had a problem with the (rather boring) decor, the creepy cleanliness of it, the big windows and nice view. He was happy for them being rather stable and well-off in their mid to late twenties, even after cutting off their wealthier families. 

The concierge, who had to buzz Sokka in after confirming he was expected; the elevator operator who asked him which floor he was going to; the elegant decorations  _ outside _ the apartment, where the manager would switch up the paintings and the floral decoration seasonally. It was just…  _ uncomfortable _ . 

Uncomfortable just like Sokka was standing outside their flat door waiting for someone to answer it. He forced a smile when Ty Lee opened it, grinning and throwing her arms around him with a happy  _ “Sokka!”  _

She’s pulling him inside, telling him that they were starting to think he wouldn’t show-- but “Of course I knew you would, I told everyone else so!” 

She was leading him through the apartment toward the dining room, and Sokka could hear that most, if not all, of their friends were already there. He’d been rather late on purpose, trying to avoid the awkward lull at the beginning of such an event where only one or two other people would be there as a barrier between himself and Zuko. 

When they crossed the threshold of the dining room, he found that he likely  _ was _ the last to arrive: Mai sat at one end of the table, Zuko on one side and an empty chair (likely for Ty Lee) on the other. The rest of the long table was occupied by Suki, Toph, Katara, Aang (holding Bumi), a couple of their other friends Sokka could never remember the names of. There was a chair saved between Toph and Katara, who made eye contact with Sokka immediately over the hubbub of the room. He thanked Ty Lee one more time for letting him in and waded his way around to the other side of the table to take the spot beside Katara. 

He nodded in acknowledgement of all the greetings called to him as he settled in, taking the plate of finger sandwiches from Suki and bumping his elbow against Toph’s arm gently. It looked like everyone was serving themselves food, but not eating yet, so he grabbed a couple little sandwiches and put them on the porcelain plate in his spot. 

He felt Zuko’s eyes on him, so he took special interest in each of the platters of food handed to him, one after another. He thanked Katara when she poured tea into his teacup for him. 

Mai was classy, and maybe that was another reason Zuko stayed with her: they matched, in terms of their upbringing and their attitudes and their taste in decor. A brunch with fucking expensive tea? Sokka could never. 

He busied himself then with whatever Aang was chatting about to Katara, little Bumi in his arms already having spotted Sokka’s attention being directed vaguely toward him. 

“Unkie,” the little tyke said, reaching out to Sokka. “Unkie!” 

He had started talking not too long ago-- first  _ wawa _ , followed by  _ Mama _ . Originally they didn’t know what he meant by the first word, until they tried to teach him to call Aang  _ Dada  _ and got only indignant  _ wawa _ s in response. Now that he spoke in broken baby sentences, Sokka had to laugh that they had yet to make any progress while Bumi was halfway to pronouncing the more difficult word ‘uncle.’ 

Without breaking his train of chatter, Aang held Bumi out to Sokka, who put him in his own lap, cooing nonsensically. 

He clicked his tongue, trying to make a new sound that Bumi would laugh and clap at. 

“Okay,” Sokka heard someone say-- Zuko. “So now everyone’s here, I just want to say thanks for making time on such short notice. I’m glad to see everyone here. Um, everything is vegetarian except the open-face ham sandwiches and the salmon sandwiches. Enjoy.” 

Sokka didn’t need to be given permission to eat twice, and he popped a crispy macaroon into his mouth, bouncing Bumi on his knee. 

“So,” Toph said quietly, leaning over to Sokka and breaking the somewhat comfortable silence between them. “What d’you figure this is about?” 

Sokka leaned over to hum an ‘ _ I don’t know _ ’ sound. 

Katara leaned over the table and took Bumi, having pulled out a little lunch box of food for the kid. 

“You don’t think they’re…” Toph trailed off with a shrug. Sokka frowned, trying to follow her thoughts and glancing up the table at Zuko and Mai briefly. Zuko’s attention snapped to Mai, who was taking a meek sip of tea while Ty Lee chatted to her. Mai’s gaze was focused on the opposite side of the table where Katara was feeding Bumi. 

“No,” Sokka said. Mai wasn’t… she couldn’t be expecting. Not a baby. He didn’t believe that-- but he immediately had to check himself whether he was being objective. For a myriad of reasons, he couldn’t imagine Zuko and Mai raising a kid together, not the way they were now. 

Toph shrugged and grabbed a sandwich from her plate. “What’s in these?” she asked as she took a bite. He grabbed one of his own sandwiches that looked to be the same type and took a bite as well. 

“Uh, cucumber and some kinda creamy spread,” he said, debating whether he liked it himself. 

Toph hummed and bit it. “That’s not bad,” she decided. “What about the other ones I got?” 

He surveyed her haul and plucked his own apart. “One’s got ham and another spread that I don’t know; one has cheese and salmon; and the last one’s got a bell pepper and some other tomatoey-looking spread.” 

“You should be a food critic with your vivid descriptions, captain,” she said cheekily, bumping her elbow against him this time. He snorted at her, biting the salmon sandwich. 

And oh, he saw the appeal of a rich girlfriend now. The salmon melted in his mouth and Sokka couldn’t hold back the moan he made. Toph snorted in return and elbowed him again. 

“So most everyone knows we’ve been having a hard time lately,” Zuko started, and Sokka took another bite so he could get away with not looking up to listen actively, “but we thought—“ 

Mai cut him off. “I’m a lesbian,” she said plainly before taking another sip of her tea. 

Sokka’s eyes widened and he whipped his head around to look at her and Zuko now. Zuko smiled at her, a little bashful at apparently going off of their script.

“So, yeah,” Zuko finished awkwardly. 

The table was still, Sokka’s hand hovering somewhere between his plate and his full mouth. Bumi cooed something. 

“Oh that’s great, Mai!” Ty Lee exclaimed, bubbly as ever, and practically flew from her seat to throw her arms around Mai, who gave a cool half smile. 

“Congratulations, Mai!” Aang called. Sokka saw the profile of Toph’s smile, too, as she popped one of the tea cookies in her mouth. 

Sokka on the other hand was… happy. He was happy for her! It took a lot to do that-- to just  _ say _ it to all her friends-- he knew that personally. But it felt like a slap, and he shoved another macaroon in his mouth. He glanced around at the others as he chewed-- at Suki, who was talking excitedly with Ty Lee, and Aang, who was standing to better project his voice, when his eyes fell on Katara. She smiled, looking right back at Sokka, but her eyebrows were pinched, raised in question. He shrugged, not wanting to try deciphering what question she was asking. 

So this was how it would finally end: over ten years of Zuko and Mai dating came down to Mai realizing-- admitting to herself, perhaps-- that she didn’t feel that attraction to Zuko. That she had misinterpreted or misrepresented her feelings all along.  _ That’s gotta sting a bit,  _ even if Zuko was smiling now. 

“Sokka?” Toph said, and it sounded like she was repeating herself. 

“Hm?” 

“I asked if you could refill my tea,” she said, and there was a concern in her voice, too. 

“Oh. Yeah.” 

He grabbed the nearest teapot and leaned over to fill her cup, and while he was close she said, “What, you don’t like lesbians?” It was teasing, but Sokka almost dropped the teapot. 

“What?  _ Toph _ , no!” he exclaimed. 

She laughed and shrugged, quirking a brow in such a way that he knew she would be texting him more harassment later. 

“I swear,” he muttered, “you’re the worst.” 

“No,” she corrected quickly, “I’m the  _ best _ , and you can die mad about it.” 

That earned a full laugh. And somehow that laugh made Sokka lift his gaze, and the laugh died when he made eye contact with Zuko. 

He blinked, and Zuko smiled, wide and thin and accompanied by a head tilt and a raised brow. Sokka snapped his attention away, to Suki and then Katara-- all of whom were looking at him too. 

_ Everyone knows _ . He could slap himself: of course everyone knew what was going through his head at Mai’s revelation. Finally, after a decade of pining after his friend, Zuko was officially on the market. 

Sokka needed to make his exit, skin itching at the feeling of others looking at him, like they were trying to gauge his next move. (But storming out after Mai’s declaration, without giving some overenthusiastic congratulations nonetheless, would look bad, wouldn’t it?) 

His phone buzzed and he clenched his hand into a fist under the table before pulling it from his pocket, steeling himself for whatever it could be (would Zuko really try texting him so obviously? Would Suki admonish him for his apathetic reaction? Would Katara?) 

No, none of them would: the text came from an undergrad assistant in his lab. 

_ “Hi Sokka, so sorry to contact you on the weekend but there’s a little emergency at the lab and prof isn’t responding. You wouldn’t be able to stop by would you?”  _

Sokka closed his eyes tight, scrunching up his nose and pursing his lips. 

_ “What kind of emergency?” _

_ “Don’t worry we already called and the fire dpt’s on the way!”  _

Sokka took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  _ Just what I needed _ , he thought sardonically, and then reconsidered. Maybe this was exactly what he needed. 

“Is everything alright Sokka?” he heard Aang ask. 

“Uhh,” Sokka started. “Undergrad did something at the lab…” 

“Do you have to go so soon?” Ty Lee called, noticing immediately when Sokka started quickly eating his sandwiches. 

“Yeah, sorry, I don’t know what’s going on but the fire department was called, so…” Sokka said, starting to stand while seeing how many macaroons he could transfer from his plate to his pocket. 

“Oh shit,” Mai said in that deadpan way that usually would make Sokka laugh. 

He reached across to pat Bumi on his fuzzy head, ducking to press a kiss to Toph’s hair before she could protest, and rounded the table to pass by Mai. 

“Hey, congrats, happy for you, sorry I have to go,” he said, bulldozing through all the sentiments he knew he should express and pecking her on the cheek. 

“Yeah, we have to have brunch another time.” 

Sokka intentionally looked over Zuko’s head as he left the dining room, walking as quickly as he could to the door. It wasn’t often he was relieved to be called to the lab on the weekend. 

\-------

Sokka pulled into his apartment’s parking lot several hours later. He turned the engine off and pulled out his key and sat in his car for a long moment. 

He should’ve noticed Zuko’s car as he walked to the entrance to his complex. His thoughts must have been fifty miles away when he stepped off the elevator on his floor, still not noticing Zuko until he was fifteen feet from his door, when he came to a stop and looked at the man sitting on the floor beside it. 

“Zuko,” he said, attracting Zuko’s attention from where he was staring at the ceiling, head against the wall. 

Zuko startled, then scrambled to his feet and patted off his pants. 

“Sokka,” he returned. Slowly, Sokka ventured closer, key already in hand. 

“Want some coffee?” he asked as he unlocked the door. He saw Zuko nod out of the corner of his eye. He watched him follow inside out of his peripheral, closing the door behind him. 

He started the machine silently, Zuko taking one of the seats and having to just deal with the pile of books and folders and report papers that Sokka  _ had _ moved elsewhere for breakfast the day before. 

Silence remained until Sokka set the two mugs down on the table-- he put a coaster on one of the hardbacks on Zuko’s side of the table. 

“So,” Sokka said. He didn’t really have anything to say to Zuko yet-- he hadn’t really had a moment to think about what he was feeling since brunch, and the day before with Katara he had focused on having  _ fun _ and ignoring those swirling and consuming thoughts. 

“So,” Zuko agreed. He curled his hand into the mug’s handle, revelling in the heat of the coffee through the ceramic. 

“You’re mad at me,” Zuko said. Sokka hummed. 

“You had breakfast with Mai. Didn’t say bye.” 

“Well you were sleeping,” Zuko rebutted. “I didn’t want to wake you up.” 

“I thought you agreed to take a break, so I’m sorry if I was a bit shocked you left…” he trailed off. What was he going to say,  _ left me for her _ ? He scoffed at himself. 

“She’s my best friend, and she asked me to meet her,” Zuko said, and Sokka could hear the frustration filtered through anger seeping into his voice. So that’s how it was going to go. “Was I supposed to say no?” 

“Maybe you weren’t supposed to come running at her first call,” Sokka said, and maybe he was letting similar anger invade his tone. “Maybe you were supposed to show  _ some _ consideration, for once.” 

Zuko untangled his fingers from the mug now, pointing at Sokka. “Some consideration? You’re the one who’s just been  _ waiting  _ for us to break up. God, it couldn’t come quick enough for you, could it? Don’t you care about how I feel about it?” 

“Oh, I’m sure you’re  _ so torn up _ ,” Sokka bit. “That’s why you were trying to kiss me before you were even single.” 

Zuko opened his mouth to retort, but then he snapped it shut with a  _ clack _ and blinked. He blinked again, and looked at his hands before bringing his elbows to the table to cover his face with his hands. Sokka thought for a moment he was smothering himself, palms covering his nose and mouth too-- but then he sighed roughly. “I’m sorry,” Zuko said, and his voice was strained. “I just thought… I thought you might…” 

Sokka wanted to scream. He wanted to stand and give Zuko the dressing down he deserved. But really, Zuko didn’t deserve it. 

“I do,” Sokka said, and hoped it answered Zuko’s unaired question.  _ Do you like me? I do. _

Zuko peeked at him through his fingers, and there was a new question there.  _ Then why didn’t you kiss me _ . And Sokka hoped his own eyes answered,  _ sometimes you can’t do what those you love want you to do _ , but he doubted it. Maybe it was a dramatic response, but it was just another truth in Sokka’s life. He couldn’t keep a long distance relationship like Suki wanted, he couldn’t move on from Yue like she had asked him to, he couldn’t forgive his Dad the way they’d both hoped. And he couldn’t comfort Zuko in that way, not when Zuko wouldn’t ever get what he really needed from it. 

“I don’t get it,” Zuko said plaintively, and the way he said it was so cute Sokka would usually laugh at him. Now, he stayed deadly serious. 

Sokka let out a stream of air, trying to let out his irritation before he spoke. “Zuko, you weren’t even officially done with Mai-- how could you ask me to betray her like that?” Zuko’s eyes widened, and he started to stutter a response, but Sokka continued. “And now you’ve only  _ just _ got off a serious relationship-- I’m  _ only _ thinking about how you feel about it. I’m  _ always _ thinking about how you feel! I’m always picking you up whenever you and Mai fuck around and get mad at each other! Christ, Zuko!” 

Sokka’s volume was escalating, and he checked himself before he really started yelling. He took a few deep breaths before he continued, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He took a sip of the coffee, hoping the caffeine would release the pressure of his oncoming headache.

“I’m sick of watching you try to mould yourself into whatever you think others want you to be. I have feelings for you, you’re right. But I like you for  _ you _ , and if you like me-- God, don’t even tell me if you don’t-- if you liked me, I would want you to take time and figure yourself out first before we tried to do anything. I don’t want anything but the  _ real you _ , and I can’t fucking fix you! It’s not my job!” 

Zuko just stared at Sokka, slack mouthed and wide eyed. Sokka hated to see him look so much like a kicked dog. 

“But,” Zuko said. “Mai and I are done now.” He wrapped both of his hands around the hot mug now, still not taking a drink. Sokka could see a shiver run through him, recognizing the nervous chill Zuko always got when someone raised their voice at him. “Haven’t you just been waiting for your chance?” He tried to infuse some bite into his words, but it failed when his voice wavered as another chill swept through him. 

Sokka’s mind went white with rage at the accusation, however thin its delivery was. There was a part of his mind angry that Zuko would accuse him of  _ waiting _ for this, on  _ counting _ on Zuko’s availability, that he was such a poor friend that he would revel in it. But beyond that, deeper than that, he recognized fully for the first time how Zuko had revelled in knowing Sokka did have those feelings for him, that beyond friendly comfort, Zuko could come to Sokka for affection when he and Mai had spats, that he could possibly know the little bit of slowly diminishing hope Sokka got every time Zuko told him about another one of their arguments. Of course he wouldn’t know that that little bit of hope had long been a source of tremendous guilt for Sokka, and distress as it grew smaller and smaller with each consecutive “breakup” of theirs. 

Sokka could feel his heart rate surging with each of the logical steps his mind raced through, the need to yell and throw his hands in the air and stomp increasing. 

He couldn’t do that in front of Zuko though. 

“I--” and now  _ his  _ voice wavered. “I can’t even talk to you right now because I don’t want to yell at you,” he said, carefully training his voice to remain even. “You need to go.” 

Zuko just stared at him. 

“I’m serious,” Sokka said. 

“I thought…” Zuko said again, and Sokka had to clench his hands not to slap one down on the table. 

“I don’t know how you already forgot the advice I give you every single time you break up with Mai. You need to take time to just be single,” he said; and this part was easy, because it was nearly mechanical now with how many times he’d told Zuko the same thing. “I guess you’ve known how I feel for a while. I hope you didn’t take that to mean I’d be a… an easy rebound when you and Mai finally quit.” He took a shaky breath. He didn’t know if he could express how tired he was: tired of the person Zuko had grown to be over the last three years living with Mai, tired of having to take care of him instead of have fun with his friend, tired of picking up the pieces after every pseudo-breakup. He didn’t know how to ask if Zuko actually liked him, or just the attention he could get from him. “Please, let’s talk later.” 

Zuko looked at him-- looked him right in the eye-- he looked at him and swallowed and nodded. Sokka had to let his eyes fall to his own hands where they were clasped between his knees. 

He heard the door shut and sighed out the breath he’d been holding. 

In the low light, he looked at the table and found himself once again with two cups of coffee. 

**Author's Note:**

> welp
> 
> if you have any questions or concerns please direct them to my [tumblr](https://meteor-sword.tumblr.com)


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